Welcome to #SoulTies4. In #SoulTies 4, we are looking at how old flames can creep back into your life to become flings if you sustain communication with them. We see also that women are more prone to this being more emotional and requiring more validation than men.
Please find below Flickr & iCloud links for the Soul Ties 4 Tweetcast
- Tonight, we look at a few emotional #SoulTies
- A significant soul tie worth mentioning is that which happens between a married person and someone else outside the marriage.
- Let’s paint a hypothetical scenario over the next few tweets.
- Jack is a guy who was emotionally involved in a relationship with a teenage sweetheart called Mary many years ago, in Lagos.
- Jill had a boyfriend in her teenage days too. Fast forward, 20 years. Jack is born again, married to Jill in Texas.
- Jill has lost touch with her old boyfriend. Jack has lost touch with Mary as well. Jack & Jill are both career people in Texas.
- Somehow Mary gets married to Peter in Nigeria & they both relocate to Georgia. years later, they are in Texas but Jack unaware
- One day Jack bumps into Mary 20 years after they last saw each other, discover they now live in same city & exchange numbers.
- Bear in mind that Jack was sexually involved with Mary. A monument in their memories back then.
- Mary calls Jack occasionally for advice on general issues. Jill has a helpful colleague at work who is a great listener.
- Somehow stress at work for Jill makes her throw more at her colleague. Calls between Jack & Mary become more frequent.
- Bear in mind also that Jack, Mary, Jill are all Christians who pray, seek God and don’t miss church services.
- Scenario complete! #SoulTies begin to develop here. How? I’ll explain.
- Jack feels sense of obligation not 2 abandon Mary 2 solve harmless issues. Jill gets workable solutions always from work mate.
- Emotional #SoulTies develop that clearly open the doors for affairs involving people who never set out to do evil from day 1.
- The most dangerous #SoulTies that can hit your marriage come from old flames in either your past or your spouse’s past.
- The next most dangerous #SoulTies for a married woman comes through liaison with another man who listens better than husband.
- For the married man, the next set of dangerous #SoulTies come from women who provide a good solace. Nagging wives lose out here
- #SoulTies develop for a married woman with doctor, lawyer, pastor or psychologist who listens and talks nicer than husband
- For a laugh, #SoulTies develop for a married Nigerian man who eats food cooked better by a woman outside. #SoulTies you agree?
- #SoulTies also develop between a married man and outsiders if he has a wife who picks a quarrel every second.
- For now, we assume no sex. But somehow, there is a soft spot that seems to be building up for such people in your heart.
- There’s a guy who walked out on nagging wife after 3 kids 2 marry teenage sweetheart who also broke up elsewhere after 3 kids
- Sadly also, men hook up with women outside for better sex services. We’ll come to that later.
- Let me stay with women for a while. Women don’t keep quiet on issues. They seek an outlet to talk or relieve ongoing stress
- It’s good in a great way as it helps them to live longer than men. Men die quicker because they are too arrogant to ask for help
- It comes with its own side effects however. I find that women bond emotionally with men they commit their secrets to.
- Where did the problem start for the woman? Let’s do a quick search
- Many women in Africa grew up with fathers who hardly ever talked much or bonded with them at home as they grew up.
- These women now get married to men raised by fathers who hardly perfected the art of communicating to women
- Also these women grew up being close to their mums. All they knew about men was second hand info gleaned off their mothers.
- Some men are paid to listen to you. These are pastors, lawyers, doctors, counselors etc.
- So you find that women are in the majority among those who flock around men in these categories.
- A sense of ownership and competition begins to build in the woman especially towards such professionals.
- The men with unbridled sexual appetites among them either make a first move or the ladies offer in order to retain them.
- If you don’t listen to your wife, she may find someone outside who would listen without any intention to cheat you but oops!
- Another root of the problem is lack of validation. Little or no validation severely affects the self esteem of women.
- As a female, you grew up with a Dad who rarely complemented you over anything good you did.
- He always told you that he ‘carried first’ in his days while the best you ever ‘carried was 6th’.
- Now you are an adult, a few guys have come along to tell you that you are the only mosquito in their nets. You married one.
- You are now Mrs. Blogg and all the nice words and flowers have reduced. The romantic guy you knew has run out of punch lines.
- You are such a skillful professional and your male line manager sings your praises very highly before the Board.
- The validation you now receive at work from your boss is 30 times more intensive than the one you get from your husband.
- It explains why women put up pictures of themselves showing exposed body parts. They are seeking validation from men
- if you missed out on validation from your Dad and are also missing out on it from your husband, then you are badly exposed
- Acceptance is the first testimony of human love. Women react strongly to acceptance or rejection.
- For whatever reason, women seem to feel more comfortable and motivated in a climate that breeds acceptance
- As a man, you can reap better dividends from your marriage, if you are generous with validation towards your wife and children.
- Leaks that let #SoulTies into marriages can be spotted and blocked if attention is paid to the emotional needs of women.
- I close tonight with tweet 50. #SoulTies 5 tomorrow should be the wrap for us on this series. Will reply/retweet your feedback.
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Your servant in Christ