In this episode, we are looking at why married men fall into the trap of cheating in marriage and how this can be averted by guarding our loins with the Word of God.
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Good evening y’all. #SoulTies 8 starts now. Hope you all had a great week so far.
1. I want to state that we are not here to condemn anyone or stigmatize anyone who has repeatedly fallen into sin due to #SoulTies
2. We are here to expose #SoulTies as the works of the enemy that the blood of Jesus has been shed to purge us from.
3. We are also not here to provide excuses and reasons for Christians to continue in sin due to a misunderstanding of grace. #SoulTies
4. The Bible states clearly in Romans 6:23 that “the wages of sin is death” #SoulTies is no excuse for us to continue in sin
5. We are here to work out our salvation (that Jesus already paid with His blood) from #SoulTies according to God’s word.
6. In a few weeks from now our focus will shift to how we can practically work out our already purchased salvation from #SoulTies
7. Tonight we are attempting to answer a question, in the context of #SoulTies, I got asked many times, which is why do married men cheat.
8. Next week, we’ll b looking at how to overcome painful & nasty break ups. This is an area that saps a lot of energy from pple. #SoulTies
9. Just before we dive into business, I want to tell you about our #SoulTies blog.
10. BreakingSoulTies.Wordpress.com will be our single repository for all our #SoulTies resources. We have #SoulTies 1-7 tweet casts there for you.
11. Also, you can send me your questions, testimonies & prayer points through the ‘Contact Us’ page –>
12. Also, you can listen to audio teachings on #SoulTies and other topics if u want to stay ahead of the class –>
13. Please visit d blog, leave your comments, spread the news about it using the FB, Twitter share buttons. BreakingSoulTies.Wordpress.com #SoulTies
14. We start with the scriptures as is our usual practice by reading from Eph 2:3. #SoulTies
15. Ephesians 2:3
Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh,……..
16. Conversation there means our behavioral patterns and habits. The scripture is saying there that we sharpened these skills.. #SoulTies
17. .. With other children of disobedience when we were out there in the world or in Egypt aka when we were unbelievers. #SoulTies
18. Most #SoulTies we practise today were developed & fine-tuned in our friendship circles. #SoulTies
19. Hardly does satan come with new stuff to trip you but he uses the same old stuff over and over again to trip you. #SoulTies
20. Now that you are saved and you have your ticket punched for heaven, satan’s only access to you is through your #SoulTies.
21. #SoulTies simply being habits he got you involved in the days of your flesh. Today, we are zeroing in on wrong sexual habits.
22. specifically in the lives of men. They operate slightly differently with women so our guns today are trained on the men. ??#SoulTies
23. I think I’ve mentioned before that most men process love through their sex organs and women process love through their hearts. #SoulTies
24. It explains why David the king saw another man’s wife from afar & his interpretation of love towards her was sleeping with her #SoulTies
25. To sleep with her, David went as far as killing her husband. His sexual appetite was that strong to commit manslaughter. #SoulTies
26. Many men who are married today are still carrying on his torch and we want to do some trace through to see what’s going on. #SoulTies
27. Boys that form sexual habits as they grow up without any godly restraint begin to move across various girls in relationships. #SoulTies
28. As this happens, the key excitement in sexual activity for boys is the release and physical gratification they get from it. #SoulTies
29. So fast forward to when they now want to marry either as saved or unsaved men, they have had a variety of memorable times. #SoulTies
30. Sisters in church are then naive to think that if he is in church, then he must be free from such memories & #SoulTies
31. Bear in mind that these activities were practised together with their friends who are now split across d church and the world. #SoulTies
32. Naively, sisters under estimate the power of old relationships over the men they are now dating or marrying. #SoulTies
33. Let’s paint a mock scenario here. Taju has been through having sex with about 35 women before he gets saved and join d church. #SoulTies
34. No one taught him how to renew his mind with God’s Word and all he knew was to come along to church and serve tables. #SoulTies
35. He still has a plethora of friends continuing with such girls. Now he meets this sister in church, Tanya, who loves The Lord. #SoulTies
36. Tanya is a virgin and has never had a boyfriend until she met Taju. Taju didn’t disclose all these while they were dating. #SoulTies
37. Let’s throw in a Nigerian spin to this mock scenario. Taju’s family is delighted to hear Tanya is a virgin. #SoulTies
38. Taju’s family is pleased with his catch being aware that he was once a player. They like that he’s marrying a ‘clean’ woman. #SoulTies
39. I have read a tweet where a dude said he would blow the whistle if his friend was to marry a lady who has aborted before. #SoulTies
40. So the pressure is on the woman who wants to marry to stay ‘clean’ while it’s ok for d man to swim around town as he pleases. #SoulTies
41. Now Taju & Tanya are married. 6 months later, Taju is out there reaching out to one or two old girlfriends on Facebook. #SoulTies
42. Facebook is almost a curse when it comes to #SoulTies. Experts advise you refrain from contacting old flames on Facebook. #SoulTies
43. Researchers reckon that 62% of those who got in touch with an old flame eventually got in bed with them. #SoulTies
44. Researchers suggest that if you are not single, widowed or divorced, u should refrain from contacting old flames on Facebook. #SoulTies
45. Back to Taju, why does he start contacting old flames on Facebook? He has had 6 months of staying with one woman! #SoulTies
46. 6 months is the longest he has ever stayed copulating with the same woman, which is his wife.Others never lasted half as long. #SoulTies
47. He gets bored. His #SoulTies are still active underneath, he remembers the assorted times from more experienced girlfriends. #SoulTies
48. It’s not enough for the woman to be right, we also need to ensure that the man is rid of #SoulTies for d marriage to work & survive.
49. Taju is back with 2 of his old flames secretly to reproduce his past assorted sexual experiences with them. #SoulTies
50. It matters where the guy has been before you met him else these things will pop to the surface months after you are married. #SoulTies
51. Sex is the most addictive soul tie in the world today. It’s far more addictive than drugs. #SoulTies
52. More money is spent on porn now than on drugs. #SoulTies. The first ever online transaction was to pay for a porn download.
53. A man who has not been purged of the sexual #SoulTies with the Word of God only needs an enabling situation to break his vows. #SoulTies
54. Let me tell you this real life story to drive home my point. Many years ago in Nigeria, I needed a lift from work. #SoulTies
55. I worked with KPMG then. I got lumbered with 4 married guys in the car. I knew all of them but we were never close. #SoulTies
56. I knew one of them to be a Christian who attended a monthly revival meeting of a large Nigerian denomination. Others weren’t. #SoulTies
57. One unwritten code we have as men is that we don’t snitch. So these guys had no problem starting this conversation in the car. #SoulTies
58. One of them had just been married recently and a conversation started when his mates asked when he was coming out to ‘town’. #SoulTies
59. He told them that he was coming out to ‘town’ soon. Then his mates started marketing their escapades outside marriage to him. #SoulTies
60. The Christian guy was one of the marketers. This conversation had gone on for like 15mins and I became very curious. #SoulTies
61. I definitely had to join this conversation as we had at least one more hour of travel. I too had just been married. #SoulTies
62. So I decided to pop this question when there was a pause in the conversation. #SoulTies read question in next tweet.
63. “Guys, if you are now married to a wife, why don’t you do all these crazy stuff with her alone and be free of guilt and STD?”. #SoulTies
64. You will find their answers ridiculous but an ignorance of these answers for a naive sister can sink your marriage dreams. #SoulTies
65. Answer 1-> one of them said “we do rough sex only with outside girls, wives are to treated with respect, not roughly”. #SoulTies
66. Let’s break answer down over a few tweets. 1st, there is suggestion of a dual life of decent sex at home & rough sex outside. #SoulTies
67. None of them disclosed their dual operations to their wives but implicitly assumed that their wives shouldn’t be a part of it. #SoulTies
68. A book called ‘Why men love bitches’ sold well because men led by their organs really love bitches but marry sane women. #SoulTies
69. 2nd analysis was that girls out there who hang out with married men are only being used as tools of sexual gratification. #SoulTies
70. If you are a girl doing a married man, this is what he thinks of you. You are only good enough for rough sex. No more. #SoulTies
71. 3rd analysis was that one wife was unable to provide these colorful experiences provided by a wide range of women out there. #SoulTies
72. From that one answer, there was absolutely no way their wives could compete on that turf with the outside girls. #SoulTies
73. There is something about a man married to a woman that is untouched by no-one else so they will pretend in church to get you. #SoulTies
74. Let me go slightly more explicit here. Over the last few years, some new bedroom styles have been floating around. #SoulTies
75. Honestly, these can be very uncomfortable for those who were never sexually active before marriage. A challenge here. #SoulTies
76. This provides the wrong inner justification for these men with unbridled appetites to carry on with their atrocities. #SoulTies
77. Addiction to assorted past sexual experiences is number one reason why men cheat. #SoulTies
78. A challenge is that these are never disclosed to the unsuspecting sister being pressured by her parents to marry in a hurry. #SoulTies
79. How do we deal with that answer for intending couples? I’ll share my two cents here. #SoulTies
80. Once courtship starts, I think there should be a discussion of these matters where both man & woman align their desires. #SoulTies
81. If he wants things being done in a particular way when u marry and it’s too much for you to handle, then u can call it quits. #SoulTies
82. If you only just discovered after you married, then my recommended option for you is prayer & fasting to crush the #SoulTies
83. Answer 2 from these guys. They said there was a thrill in slipping out to be with these other women that’s addictive. #SoulTies
84. We can decode that with 2 scriptures in proverbs.
85. Pro 20:17
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man;
but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel.
86. Proverbs 9:17
Stolen waters are sweet,
and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
87. Proverbs 9:18
But he knoweth not that the dead are there;
and that her guests are in the depths of hell.
88. A lady once tweeted that forbidden love was the sweetest. I don’t know where to start. #SoulTies
89. Please note that these guys only used the girls as tools & they had no romantic link or they faked romantic links with them. #SoulTies
90. Next reason why men cheat is access to or desire to be romantically back with their ex-girlfriends aka old flames. #SoulTies
91. Please note that both non church men as well as church men with #SoulTies are affected by this. You’ll be shocked.
92. A woman married to a clergyman kept being buffeted by her ex-boyfriend who was having a problem in his marriage. #SoulTies
93. She had to scream for help through a Christian talk show cos she couldn’t carry it to church.Their meeting point was Facebook. #SoulTies
94. Single sisters, when a man has problems with his marriage & u give him your shoulder to cry on, it won’t stop there till oops! #SoulTies
95. Single sisters, you are not marriage counsellors. If he has problems, let him go see the trained counsellors. #SoulTies
96. This one is subtle and deceptive cos it never starts as an affair. It starts just as long telephone gists. #SoulTies
97. These telephone gists can only be done when wife and kids are all gone to bed. Next, your phone travels around in your pocket. #SoulTies
98. Next, you password your phone and not even your wife and kids can open it cos the phone is very ‘hot’. #SoulTies
99. Next, the gists can no longer convey the intensity of the bond so physically contact is arranged and oops. #SoulTies
100. Problems at home open the door for this kind of liaisons. A brash lady used to annoy her husband there were lots of fights. #SoulTies
101. Next, she complains that her husband uses the loo every night for over an hour talking to some woman outside the marriage. #SoulTies
102. Issues should be addressed, confronted and resolved in marriage else leaks like these happen that can let enemy in. #SoulTies
103. Another reason men cheat is food! Food! You won’t believe it. Africans say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. #SoulTies
104. Haven’t you noticed in Nollywood films that mistresses and concubines out there are great cooks. #SoulTies
105. No one knows Samuel as well as Mama Samuel. U want to marry Samuel? Please make friends with Mama Samuel and ask questions. #SoulTies
106. Ask Mama Samuel how Samuel loves his food cooked. Be humble to learn how cos that may be your lifeline in 5 years time. #SoulTies
107. When I was a young boy, I saw women lose their husbands attention to better cooks on the streets. #SoulTies
108. Now the woman out there is not cooking for charity, she’s doing it get the whole of the man to herself. #SoulTies
109. We heard stories of women adding supplements to food in a bid to turn the hearts of the men they wanted to entice. #SoulTies
110. If ur husband is a man given to food, you have a challenge cos he would be spotted by better cooks out there for enticement. #SoulTies
111. We spotted 3 reasons why men cheat tonight. Sex, Emotional ties with past lovers, food. Sex being the most powerful one. #SoulTies
112. Married men have been known to have gone into their house maids, secretaries etc. There are 2 other reasons I want to add. #SoulTies
113. Reason 4: I think some men are plain demonic as their actions in this area defy logic.Like raping house maid, step daughters #SoulTies
114. It’s demonic and only spiritual discernment can make you avoid such men. U are better never to have met such men. #SoulTies.
115. If you are unfortunately married to one, seek spiritual advice ASAP. #SoulTies
116. Some may require law enforcement agents being informed as a mandatory obligation. #SoulTies
117. Reason 5, the last one is if as a married woman you are not in the centre of his passion. U need to pay attention here. #SoulTies
118. Church people can be badly exposed here and I’ll explain. #SoulTies
119. Quick scenario. Taju owns & runs a fast growing company called Taj Holdings.Tanya doesn’t need to work as they r very comfy. #SoulTies
120. Tanya’s passion is now holidays, shoes and jewellery. But Taju’s passion is all about growing this company. #SoulTies
121. Ladies, a man’s main passion is most of the time not you but his work. He pours himself into his work to provide for you. #SoulTies
122. He sees clearly that Tanya’s passion is to spend the money. Taju has no problem with that cos there’s excess money. #SoulTies
123. Problem is that Taju has a female PA who knows 100% about Taj Holdings while Tanya only knows about the chequebook. #SoulTies
124. Taju works 16 hours a day with the PA while Tanya is busy driving around with her prodigal friends in the family RangeRover. #SoulTies
125. Though Taju is a decent guy married to Tanya, Tanya is not located in the centre of Taju’s passion –> growing Taj Holdings. #SoulTies
126. PA called Genevieve works very hard for 16 hours a day away from her family. One day Genevieve comes crying to work that her #SoulTies
127. School fees for kids are short. Taju makes the difference cos he doesn’t want her distracted from work. Next, she says her #SoulTies
128. Husband is uncaring, Taju turns counsellor and comforts her. Gradually a bond is growing as they watch each other’s back. #SoulTies
129. Genevieve works harder to repay Taju’s loyalty while Tanya is home booking the holidays.Over a period of 5 years, #SoulTies are formed
130. A pact of secrecy is developed and Genevieve becomes the most powerful person in that organisation. #SoulTies
131. This opens the door for deeper intimacy between them which never started as such. Many CEO’s are known to have had affairs.. #SoulTies
132. PA’s cos they spend far too much time together running the company. #SoulTies
133. Ladies, if any woman spends more time than you in the centre of your husband’s passion you are at risk of losing him. #SoulTies
134. I have a pastor friend in Northern England. Most times when I try calling him, his wife is there and she picks the phone. #SoulTies
135. after some time, I hardly needed to speak to him except for very crucial issues, cos she was right there in the centre.. #SoulTies
136. Of his passion. She had almost all the answers I needed from the man. #SoulTies
137. Close, Prolonged, intensive and continual contact with female PA can birth #SoulTies capable of drawing the main into sin. #SoulTies
138. So we got 5 reasons why men cheat, sexual appetite, emotional tangle, food, demonic possession & ur absence from his passion #SoulTies
139. Please note that these are not being postulated as valid excuses for men to cheat. The standards of God are very clear. #SoulTies
140. We dug these out so our sisters can be street wise and be spiritually discerning as they choose who to marry & how to live. #SoulTies
141. Been a long night. Please read and retweet to all your followers. Please leave comments & questions on BreakingSoulTies.Wordpress.com #SoulTies
142. Love you guys. 😘😘 Remain blessed. See you again next week Thursday at 8pm GMT (9pm Nigerian time) #SoulTies Jesus is Lord!!
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Your servant in Christ
November 22, 2013 at 4:36 pm
Reblogged this on Reality Personified.
August 18, 2014 at 4:25 pm
God bless you for this!!
October 10, 2014 at 2:05 pm
My fav numbers on this 94 and 95 , 119 – 142