Welcome to #SoulTies 10. In #SoulTies 10, we are looking at how to recover from a nasty break-up or a failed relationship and bounce back. We start by examining our commitment to God and our salvation status before looking at the importance of forgiveness and the elimination of a bitter spirit.
Please find below Flickr & iCloud links for the Soul Ties 10 Tweetcast
1. Good evening y’all. #SoulTies 10 starts now. Hope you all had a great week so far.
2. I want to state that we are not here to condemn anyone or stigmatize anyone who has repeatedly fallen into sin due to #SoulTies
3. We are here to expose #SoulTies as the works of the enemy that the blood of Jesus has been shed to purge us from.
4. We are also not here to provide excuses and reasons for Christians to continue in sin due to a misunderstanding of grace. #SoulTies
5. The Bible states clearly in Romans 6:23 that the wages of sin is death #SoulTies is no excuse for us to continue in sin
6. We are here to work out our salvation (that Jesus already paid with His blood) from #SoulTies according to God’s word.
7. Please take time off to LIKE our Facebook page using this link http://dld.bz/cU2zp #SoulTies
8. Please join our FaceBook group here as well to receive time updates about our activities. http://dld.bz/cU4fR #SoulTies
9. Please join our Google+ community here. http://dld.bz/cUFYH We are looking to host #SoulTies Hangouts soon from there.
10. Tonight we are attempting to answer a question, in the context of #SoulTies, which is how to recover from a nasty breakup.
11. Due to time constraints, I assume that it’s now accepted that d breakup is for real & u’re not coming back together again. #SoulTies
12. U r still dazed & your inner circle has come to comfort you with d words on this pic. #SoulTies
13. I saw this happen many times when I was in UNI and this literally sapped life out of vibrant ladies on campus overnight. #SoulTies
14. I saw this happen to both Christians and non-Christians in UNI so it wasn’t an experience that was localised to 1 group. #SoulTies
15. I also personally experienced this both on the emotional and spiritual sides. So I am sharing practical stuff here. #SoulTies
16. I will be sharing stuff from the bible, the Word of God. It’s the most resourceful repository of wisdom I know of. #SoulTies
17. When this breakup happens, we still hold on to thoughts and fantasies of what could have been if breakup didn’t happen. #SoulTies
18. Ladies are hit more badly here cos they put more heart, life and hope into their relationships than men. #SoulTies
19. They would do all they can to prevent their relationships from falling off d cliff. #SoulTies
20. It’s a time where you are torn apart on your insides wondering where you went wrong. #SoulTies
21. You feel humiliated cos you had told us this was it and changed your relationship status to engaged. Now oops! #SoulTies
22. You made him the face of your laptop screensaver and your phone lock screen but oops! #SoulTies
23. To think it felt so good at the beginning and now its all turned to pain and anguish. #SoulTies
24. After a breakup, there is a vey toxic mix of emotions welling up in u; despair, revenge, confusion, anger, hurt, loss etc #SoulTies
25. Then your inner circle turns up to give you all sorts of counsel just like they did to Job. #SoulTies
26. Some say try crying and you have cried, no improvement. Some say go on holiday, go eating, etc None does d job. #SoulTies
27. In the process, you even resort to sentimental music with lyrics written by those who went through the same. #SoulTies
28. Then it becomes a perpetual wound that u show to everyone who turns up to attract empathy & an arm round your shoulder. #SoulTies
29. Now let’s start #SoulTies 10 here by looking at the God factor first and then on to the required human steps. #SoulTies
30. In all we have said so far, very little mention has been made of God. It’s been all about ourselves who got injured. #SoulTies
31. Ex 20:3 says “Thou shall have no other gods before me”. First, we need to conduct a spiritual checkup on ourselves. #SoulTies
32. Was God ever the basis and the foundation of that relationship? Did that whirlwind romance bring u closer to God? #SoulTies
33. Did u do things in that relationship that clearly showed that affection for him/her was more than your affection for God? #SoulTies
34. This is the time for you to check up on your salvation status. If you pass on today, do you know where you are headed? #SoulTies
35. Do you know that there is no marital status or marriages in heaven and hell? We all show up there as individuals. #SoulTies
36. If you are unsure of your salvation status, now that he/she is gone is the best time to verify that status. #SoulTies
37. Secondly, if your salvation status is verified, did you compromise God’s values for this person during the relationship? #SoulTies
38. Applies to men and women. Women give up their bodies hoping to secure the guy. Men steal to buy stuff to keep the woman. #SoulTies
39. If you are a born-again Christian & you have indulged in all these, now may be the best time for you to repent before God. #SoulTies
40. Those are just examples. You know where, how and when you have compromised Godly values for this human relationship. #SoulTies
41. Many feel cheated and exploited because they gave up their cherished values and the person still messed up and bolted off. #SoulTies
42. You made this guy into a graven image that u respected more than God. You skipped church attendance to always be with him. #SoulTies
43. You made this girl your god. You spent your tithes and offerings on her and she still left you for a more loaded guy. #SoulTies
44. Do you know that the Shango guy in the forest is not the only idol worshipper in our midst today? #SoulTies
45. Anytime you elevate a person or thing above Jesus, you have created a graven image that you are worshipping. #SoulTies
46. Most times you elevate a relationship above God, it hardly ever ever ends well because satan is a wicked task master. #SoulTies
47. Y’all may not find these comfortable but fasten your seatbelts. The ride is rough but we’ll all land safely. #SoulTies
48. Now that we are done with our spiritual health check, let us begin to pick the other steps from here. #SoulTies
49. Please note that these steps are not sequential but they are simultaneous. I.e. they should be done together. #SoulTies
50. Numero Uno is Forgiveness. Until you forgive and root the bitter feeling and taste out of your system, u will struggle. #SoulTies
51. I see people on my TL talk about a karma. Karma is not your business to execute in life. Vengeance belongs unto the Lord. #SoulTies
52. Jesus said in Mark 11:25 that when you stand praying that you should forgive else you won’t see God’s forgiveness. #SoulTies
53. Paul said in Heb 12:15 that a root of bitterness in you can torment and trouble you and also contaminate others. #SoulTies
54. When you are bitter, you wish that other person evil in your heart. You just wish he would drop dead for what he did. #SoulTies
55. When you are bitter, you cannot stop tallking evil about this person that hurt you whenever you have the chance to talk. #SoulTies
56. Forgiveness is different from stupidity. When I forgive you, it doesn’t mean u are welcome to come back and hit me again. #SoulTies
57. When I forgive you, it means I no longer retain you in the prison of my heart wishing retribution against you. #SoulTies
58. Forgiveness also does not necessarily excuse the offender from divine retribution but releases you to move on. #SoulTies
59. It’s spiritually mandatory to forgive but you may not forget that easily and its ok. Don’t beat yourself up on it. #SoulTies
60. Someone hurt me emotionally over 2 decades ago. She’s forgiven but I didn’t forget. Mention her name, I’ll remember. #SoulTies
61. It’s what d memory does that’s key. Does it make you cry, hiss, regret, bitter or give praise to God for a better person? #SoulTies
62. How do we practically implement this step cos its a step that you find yourself almost too weak to practise at such times? #SoulTies
63. You practise it by saying with your mouth before you pray “I declare that XXXXX is forgiven in the Name of Jesus”. #SoulTies
64. “I release XXXXX from my systems and let him/her go in d Name of Jesus. I wish no evil upon him/her in the Name of Jesus” #SoulTies
65. And then, you continue with your other prayers. This is Christianity as practised by our role model, Jesus Christ. #SoulTies
66. While Jesus was being torn apart by those whom He came to save, He prayed that God should forgive them. #SoulTies
67. Please don’t bring up other contexts like rape, abuse with me. We are treating only emotional breakups here. #SoulTies
68. Those other contexts require full disclosure to law enforcement agents so please don’t start a debate on that. #SoulTies
69. When you are still bitter, you say to everyone that all men or all women are the same. They are all just useless. #SoulTies
70. I’ll let you in on one secret. Anytime I heard a lady say this when I was single, I just passed without questions. Why? #SoulTies
71. I know straightaway that someone has split your soul and I don’t want to be a victim of that man’s crime against u. #SoulTies
72. I was a Mummy’s boy so I wouldn’t know how to handle that stress so I always looked out for it so I could avoid it. #SoulTies
73. We are out of time but next week we’ll dive in quicker to look at the remaining steps. #SoulTies
74. These are prayer, speaking of words, Weaning yourself (do u know how to wean yourself?), Social media steps. #SoulTies
75. For now, let’s practise forgiveness and let me know how you feel when we meet next week for the other steps. #SoulTies
76. Y’all know how to find me. We’ll do a re-run tomorrow at 12:00 Nigerian time.
77. Please feel free to reply d tweets & give some feedback. I want to know how well it’s going down & straighten rough edges. #SoulTies
78. If you are joining in for the first time today, please catch up with us by going to http://dld.bz/cUczd for #SoulTies 1-9.
79. #SoulTies 10 will be up on the blog later today. http://dld.bz/cUczd
If you have been blessed by this piece and you want to share your prayer requests or testimonies with me, please use this contact form. Your email will come straight to me and will not be published on this site.
Your servant in Christ
November 26, 2013 at 6:58 pm
Words fail me…..thank you for this. God bless you
December 10, 2013 at 6:23 am
May God bless u for this work u’re doing. I’ve never had a
heart-break. Decided to read this write-up because of a friend
who’s going thru a break-up atm. Really did learn a lot. May your
good work never cease.
December 10, 2013 at 9:47 am
Aww! Thanks so much. We see your friend bounce back in Jesus name!
January 15, 2014 at 6:43 am
Soul Ties10 For me..point 35 and 51 are points that has me
soul searching. . Again. .thank you for this piece…I have read
all the previous ones and look forward to me. Blessings to
January 15, 2014 at 9:27 am
Thanks so much. So happy that its a blessing to you.
July 8, 2014 at 4:42 pm
This was very good & practical. It’s actually a subject I’d been thinking on lately. Thanks for posting.